Rescue

From another friend, proof positive that kids are on the lookout for those in need:

My 3 year old daughter looked at my pregnant belly today and said, "Mom, I think our baby is stuck in there. We better get her out." Don't I wish! 2 more months!

Right Hand From the Left

From a friend:

Sitting in church yesterday with son J.  I asked him which hand he takes the bread and water of the sacrament with. He holds up his right hand and I tell him good job. Then he holds up his left hand and loudly announces, "And THIS hand is for hot dogs!"

Date Night

We do a babysitting swap with some friends who are the lucky parents of five very active boys, ranging in age from 3 to almost 11.  As you can imagine, they rarely get the opportunity to get out as a couple for a date, hence the reason for the swap.  Last weekend we hosted their boys so they could get one of those longed-for nights out.  While we had the boys over, the three year old said:

"My Daddy is on a date."  We said, "Really?!"  And he said, "And my Mommy, too."  Clearly, he knew what was going on so we asked him, "What are they doing on their date?"

Without hesitation, he said:

"Doing homework."  Never miss a chance to hit the books!

Mesmerized

My wife was out of town visiting relatives, so I was holding down the fort.  As we were nearing bedtime one night, I was trying to get everyone through the nightly routine while finishing up a project in my office.  After a couple of tries calling out to our five year old to head to the bathroom to use the restroom and get ready to shower, there was still no movement in that direction.

Exasperated, I called out, "R, what are you doing?"  The response: "Looking at my Lego sticker book."
My reply: "Thanks for telling me, but now it is time to get ready for bed.  Put down the book and go to the bathroom!"  Little did I know the power of that publication.  R's reply:

"Daddy, I can't stop looking at it.  It's too cool!"

P.S. What is a cabin??

On the same cabin trip, shortly after we arrived, it became clear that we hadn't quite explained what a cabin is - only that we were going to one. B took a quick walk around inside and then declared: "This is a weird looking cabin . . . it looks like a house!!"

High on a Mountain Top

While staying with some friends at a cabin in the mountains, we took a short hike around the property. One side was a little treacherous, and our four year old had some reservations about walking down it. We didn't realize how concerned until she verbally expressed herself: "Wow! This hill is so deep! I hope I don't fall and crumble."

Irregular

Souplantation (in some parts of the country called Sweet Tomatoes) has become our favorite restaurant, especially since we usually have coupons that make it very affordable.  The staff there over the past few years has gotten to know us.  As we were sitting there eating on one particular occasion a little while ago, one of the assistant managers came by, said hi, and dropped off a stack of coupons at our table.  We appreciatively said thank you.  After she left, our 9 year old asked:


"Why did she do that?  Is it because we are Normals?"  Utterly confused, my wife and I asked, "What are you talking about?" She said, "You know, because we normally come here?"  Just like the pants, it hit me:


"Oh, you mean Regulars!" Yup, that's it!  You've gotta love upper level developing language skills!

Harry Poppins

My sister introduced her kids to Mary Poppins a few months ago. Her 5 year old is quite in love with the movie but can't keep old and new stories quite straight. She referred to it as Mary Potter.  At least it's better than Harry Poppins. But it seems pretty appropriate since she calls the Mrs. Butterworth syrup they use on their pancakes Mrs. Butterbeer!  Here's to you, Harry!

White Christmas

Living in a place where the sun is shining year round has some distinct advantages, but unfortunately lacks the luster of a good snowfall at Christmastime.  My wife has lamented on several occasions about our barren tree in the front yard with no leaves and no decorations unlike the rest of our lit up yard.  But our 6-year-old came up with a solution. 

As we were driving around looking at Christmas lights a few weeks ago, we saw the many colorful, amazing displays.  In the midst of this, we passed by a house that had apparently just been TP'ed that night or the night before.  After passing the house, our extremely thoughtful 6 year-old, as matter-of-fact as can be, said:

"I just got an idea from the house back there.  Let's get a bunch of toilet paper and we will just throw it over our tree.  And then we can just leave it up for the rest of Christmas."

I have a feeling he is a mere 8-10 years away from spreading such "Christmas cheer" year-round!

Failure To Launch

My wife is always telling our kids that except for very limited exceptions (e.g., college), they can never leave home and are going to stay with us forever because she would miss them too much.

So the other night at dinner, out of nowhere, our 6 year-old turned to his mom and said:

"Mom, guess what?!  I never have to leave you! I can go to college in my pajamas." (Mom has quizzical look on her face). "No for real, I saw it on TV.  It was on a commercial.  You can go to college in your pajamas on your computer.  I never have to leave home!"

Hurray for technological independence!

Routines

Our 3-year-old niece lives in New York City, and her family has a car that needed to get moved on a pretty frequent basis to avoid a parking ticket.  Here is her conversation with her Mom when moving the car:

Niece: Mom, buckle up right now, let's go.

Mom: Okay, where are we going?

Niece: Costco.

Mom: Okay, what do we need at Costco?

Niece: Um...chicken....and....Diet Coke! And if you are good, you can have a hot dog!

Christmas Spirit

To all the "Elf" fans, our niece got off the bus in mid-December from school and declared there was no Christmas spirit anymore (some kids were arguing with each other on the way home). So what did she do about it? She sang "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" at the top of her lungs.

What A Bum!

B to her dad as they boarded an airplane: "Your bum is too big to fit on the airplane." The next night she asked her dad what his bum was going to be for Halloween.  Did he get the message?

True Friends

When B's dad told her she was going to time out if she didn't stop acting up, she informed him:

"Well, then I guess we're just not True Friends." I guess not kid, I guess not.

No Energizer Bunny

Dad to Four-Year-Old B: "B, why are you having such a hard time following directions?" 

B to Dad: "Ummm, I think my batteries are dying."

The Ear

B: "Mom, W's ear hurts." 

Mom: "How do you know his ear hurts?" 

B: "Because I just bit it." Nice.

That Dog

Four-year-old B in the park:

"Oh, look at that dog. It's so...medium!"

Have a good day...

Three-year old B to her dad as he is leaving for work for the day:
 "Have a good day, Daddy!" (and then under her breath as he is walking out):
"A good boring day!"

I'm in California

Our niece, B, was potty training.  We were unaware, however, that her parents did not use the word "panties" for her big-girl underwear.  Hence ensues the following conversation:
Aunt: "B! Are you in panties?!" 
B (with scrunched up face, quizzically): "No, I'm in California."

You Know... The Pants!

Our 8 year-old daughter, A, announced to us at dinner that she was doing Science in Science. “No really, I am doing Science in Science!” We thought that was really great that she was doing "science in science", but weren't quite sure what that meant. She told us, “We’re learning about what everyone has. Mommy and I have the same thing, Daddy and I have the same thing, because of, you know… the pants!” When we looked puzzled, she shot us the “C’mon, you know what I’m talking about” look: “You know, the pants!” A second later, the light came on and Daddy asked, “Do you mean the genes?” A, matter-of-factly, “Yup, that’s it!”