Little Known Child Excuses

Often I am trying to get other things done at the same time as trying to get the kids ready for bed.  Being savvy, they recognize sometimes this means a window of opportunity for not staying on task for the bedtime routine. 

A few weeks ago we had just such an experience.  I was working in the office, and called in to our 6 year old, R, that he needed to get ready for bed.  After a few minutes of not seeing any movement, I looked in and found him staring intently at a new Encyclopedia of Legos book he had just gotten.  The following conversation ensued.

Me: Hey, Buddy, it's time for bed.  You are going to have to put the book away and get ready for bed.
R (without lifting his head): I can't take my eyes off of it...its too cool.
Me: You'll have to.
R (unmoved): Still can't do it. Daddy, its still too cool.

Darn Lego hypnosis!

Birthday Boy

About 10am yesterday morning this conversation occurred:

4 Year old G: When's my birthday?
Mom: Tomorrow.
G: That's too far away.
Mom: No it's not. When you go to sleep and wake up again it'll be your birthday!
G: (lies down on the floor) I'm getting tired. I need to go to sleep.

Nice try G!

Can We Do It Again?!

From a friend yesterday in Southern California and proof that kids can have fun in just about any condition:

Hosting playgroup today with 5 4-year-old boys. Just had an earthquake!! Stuff knocked off the walls, but everyone is fine. But now they keep wanting to play "earthquake!"

Uplifting Music

From a friend: For Family Night tonight, we were talking about only listening to music that was pleasing to God. Mom: "What kind of music do you think is pleasing to God?" 5 year old A: "All The Single Ladies?"

You Jane!

Our two year old nephew, W, stepped in tar at the beach today. He informed his mother that as long as he had tar in his foot, she could call him "Tarzan."

Early Onset

From my mom:

We got a cute story from an old college friend. Her granddaughter was vomiting in the morning, but recovered very quickly and was able to go to school in the afternoon. She explained to her family that she had “morning sickness.” Her grandmother couldn’t stop laughing and when the little girl asked why, she explained. The little girl replied, “Grandma, I’m only 7!!”

In the Genes

Our 7 year old niece, E, brings home books from school every evening. She generally prefers the fictional children’s literature, but she recently brought home a non-fiction book about bats.  It said that bats like to eat bugs, fruit and fish. It also said that bats have been getting some sort of illness that causes their noses to turn white. They aren’t sure what’s causing it. E apparently thought about it for a few moments and said she thought she’d figured out the problem. According to her, we have been “pollinating” the rivers and streams. That has caused the fish to become “pollinated” and the bats eat the fish, which is then causing the bats to get sick.  My sister (trying not to laugh at the confusion of the words pollinate and pollute) told E what a good job she had done in thinking that through.  E said that of course she would be able to do that.  Why?  Because she was “born of a scientist” and (speaking to my sister) “you are married to a scientist,” so, of course, she (E) can think like a scientist!

It's in the genes (or the water)!

Pack Rat

From our sister-in-law:

Last night, W had a diaper leak that required a middle of the night sheet change. After I put him back in bed, he began frantically running his hand over all of his clean blankets/sheets. Then, in desperation, he looked up and said, "I can't find my booger!" I guess he was saving that one for later.

Batteries Not Included

From our sister-in-law:

21 month old W wants to sit on the potty. I'm not ready to potty train, but his insistence has led me to occasionally sit him down on the toilet (fully diapered and clothed). His comment? "Oh no...no sound. Potty needs batteries." What is it with boys and potty sounds???

Look Out!

From our brother-in-law:

This morning when our birthday boy, 3 year old B, came downstairs he was greeted by G (our 5 year old), exclaiming, "B, it's your birthday!" B stopped in his tracks and with a concerned look on his face he looked around the room and asked, "Whewr? Whewr? Whewr's my birfday?"

Sisterly Advice

From our sister-in-law:

We're trying to teach W how to suck out of a straw/sippy cup. Tonight at dinner I asked (5 year old) B to demonstrate for him. She picked up her cup and simply said, "W, you suck."

Inappropriate Children's Toy?

The latest craze at our house with our 6 and 7 year old sons are Beyblades. These whirling, spinning battling tops became a favorite topic after the brothers got them from Santa in their stockings. Our 10 year old daughter, A, seemed really rather taken aback with the whole thing, although she seemed to think the Beyblades were kind of entertaining.

A few days ago when I was talking to my boys about them, she heard me talking about the toy, and finally our birds and bees-educated girl just couldn't stand it anymore.

A: "What is that toy called?"
Me: "A Beyblade."
A: "Ohhhhhhh! All this time I thought you and the boys were calling it a Babe Laid!

No... no, we weren't!